Write a great first message
Online dating is a common practice nowadays and for many people, the most pleasant and easiest way to meet a partner. After you have created your profile, selected appealing pictures and written a suitable self-description, it really starts: you have a match with an interested person.
But at this point, many singles start to wonder. How exactly should you write to the other person? After all, you want to be perceived as attractive and relaxed, and not as needy. Is a simple “Hello, how are you?” enough? Or, better yet, funny? Perhaps creative?
At this point, we’ll give you our tips so that the first message can turn into more than just a one-time message without a reply.
The first message is the most important part
Why should you even bother?
The first message is the most important part of any online dating experience. It sets the tone for subsequent messages and can determine whether a person is interested in you. The first message also lays the groundwork for what kind of conversation you want to have.
While there is no guarantee that every first message will be responded to, you should take the following point to heart to significantly increase your chances:
Write customized texts
Once you’ve had several matches, it’s very tempting to send them all the same message and see who responds.
However, as far as the first message in online dating is concerned, this is not a good idea. Boring messages rarely work. They seem impersonal and don’t contribute to a conversation.
Even if it takes more time, the rule in this case is quality over quantity. This way, your counterpart will also notice that you are trying.
So, what specifically should the message look like? Here’s our concrete guide for composing the first message to your potential crush.
The rule is that quality prevails over quantity
The perfect composition for your first message
We can break down what, we think, is the best possible first message into four parts, which should take place in this order:
- greeting
- a remark that shows that you have read the profile carefully
- a fact about yourself
- an open question
The greeting can consist of a simple “Hi” coupled with something creative. However, please do not be too fancy or too colloquial. A large proportion of people will never respond to a “Hey, sugar doll!”.
The next point is unavoidable from our perspective. Go into what you see or read in the other person’s profile. This way you demonstrate that you have really engaged with the other person.
A text for this could look like this:
- I like it very much that you…
- I find it really exciting how you…
- I have always wanted to get to know someone like you, who does/can do…
- The photo of you doing […] is really impressive
Use phrases that are appropriate for you. You may, of course, give a compliment, but don’t overdo it right away. Furthermore, the compliment should not be aimed at the other person’s appearance at the beginning.
the compliment should not be aimed at the appearance of the other in the beginning
In the next step, also reveal a fact about yourself. Ideally, this one is related to the remark you made earlier.
It might look like this:
I love the photo of you kite surfing. You look like a pro! I attended a beginner kite camp in Egypt 2 years ago, I really enjoyed it. But for your level, I definitely need to practice a lot.
This way, you give several pieces of information about yourself at once. You show that you try new things, enjoy sports and being active, and most importantly, that you have something in common with the other person. This can be a starting point for further conversation.
End the first message with an open-ended question. Open-ended means that it cannot be answered directly with a “yes” or “no”. If the other person is encouraged to write a little more, you will directly have a starting point for the second message.
Now we wish you good luck. Being easy-going, a little charm, and practice will help you.
Terminez le premier message par une question ouverte
